My life....

A needle in a haystack
Why bother to look
I'd prefer to read a book.
I catch the ball thrown at me
I look up wondering
I shake my head
I throw the back the ball.

I see a shadow
Look up and my jaw drops
It's a guy
We become friends
Me in love with him
Him in love with me too
He kisses me and I respond by drawing him close
We get together.
He gets killed
My heart breaks
Part of me starts to give up
Saying why bother to go on without him.

I start hiding some of myself more
Not wanting anyone too close
I come across another guy
So like me
I fall for him
He's taken
I don't honestly care
We enjoy ourselves.

He goes
I go through hell
He comes back in bad shape
He doesn't talk to me
I don't diserve him to.

I start making new friends
Planning my funeral
And almost overdosing
Thinking of all this pain.

Deciding I want to meet the friends near me
Before I die
But kowing I can't yet
Not till we know the other more.

I am shy
I am scared
And I am alone.






Darkest wishes
-Sam

*hugs* It was lovely Sammy. Don't give up Sammy, in life and everything. Good things will come for you.